Why Giving Up Was Never an Option
There were many moments when I wondered how much more I could handle. For years, I had been trying to become a mother—infertility treatments, IVF, surgeries, medications, and countless appointments. I experienced pregnancy loss and later lost my mother. There were times when the weight of everything felt impossible to carry. But somewhere beneath the disappointment and grief, a small part of me always wanted to keep going. I didn’t always know where I was headed—I just knew I wasn’t ready to stop.
I Kept Holding On to Hope
In 2015, I was diagnosed with infertility and told I would likely never conceive naturally. I chose to pursue IVF, and the next several years were filled with procedures, surgeries, hormone medications, and repeated cycles of hope and uncertainty—more than 20 medical procedures in the first few years alone.
In 2019, I became pregnant through IVF—a baby girl, due in January 2020. At nine weeks, we discovered there was no heartbeat. I lost my baby, and that loss changed me. But I continued trying for three more years because I wasn’t ready to give up.
Carrying More Than One Loss
While going through my infertility journey, I was also dealing with another devastating loss. In 2017, I lost my mother to heart disease. Losing her made an already difficult period even harder—I felt angry, overwhelmed, and lost. Years of treatments, grief, and uncertainty had taken a toll on me, and there were moments when I questioned what my future would look like. But even during those darkest moments, I remembered that my mother would never have wanted me to stop living my life. That thought stayed with me.
Choosing Myself
Eventually, I realized fighting for one part of my life had cost me sight of another part: myself. On November 27, 2022, I decided I needed to start taking care of my own health and well-being. I couldn’t change the past or undo my losses—but I could choose what I did next.
I began working with a dietitian, learning about my mindset and relationship with food, and completed a 28-day medically monitored program that helped me change my nutrition. It wasn’t about becoming a different person overnight—it was about making better choices one day at a time.
Learning That Progress Takes Persistence
In January 2023, I joined EOS Fitness and started working with a personal trainer once a week for four months. There were days I didn’t want to go, days I struggled—but I kept showing up. That taught me persistence doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like getting out of bed when you don’t feel motivated, or doing something difficult because you know it matters.
Then, in May 2023, I discovered Aquabike, attending classes three to four times a week alongside my nutrition work. After 90 days, I had dropped two clothing sizes, but the changes went beyond my appearance—my mood, sleep, energy, and outlook began to change. For the first time in a long time, I was beginning to feel connected to myself again.
I Found a Community Along the Way
Aquabike also introduced me to people who became an important part of my journey. I became part of what I called my “gym squad,” and we encouraged each other and celebrated progress together. That support helped me keep showing up.
I still had difficult days and grief to process. But I discovered I didn’t have to walk through every difficult moment alone.
The Journey Took Me Somewhere Unexpected
Eventually, my fitness journey led me somewhere I never expected. I became a fitness instructor and earned my Aquabike certification. I had started by simply trying to take better care of myself, and I never imagined I’d one day help lead others through fitness classes.
Looking back, I realize every small decision mattered—meeting with a dietitian, walking into the gym, attending another class, showing up when I didn’t feel like it. None of those moments seemed life-changing alone. Together, they became my transformation.
What I Know Now
On November 27, 2022, I weighed 195 pounds. On November 27, 2025, I weighed 125 pounds. I’m proud of that change, but the most important part of my journey isn’t the number—it’s what I learned getting there.
I learned that setbacks don’t have to mean the end, that progress doesn’t have to be perfect, and that asking for support can be part of becoming stronger. And I learned that sometimes the most important decision you can make is simply to keep taking the next step.
I can’t change the years I spent struggling with infertility, and I can’t change the pregnancy I lost or bring my mother back. But I can choose how I live today. Giving up may have felt easier at times, but continuing gave me the chance to discover a version of myself I didn’t know was still there. And that is something I will always be grateful for.
If you’re facing a difficult season of your own, you don’t have to solve everything today. Choose one small step you can take for yourself, and focus on that step. Sometimes, continuing begins with something very simple: showing up again tomorrow.
